Archive | July 2015

Finally, the $1,000 Patchwork Jeans

Jul28

st laurent jeans

Here is just what we’ve all been looking for: distressed patchwork jeans that are worth every penny of the $1,090 price tag.

Obviously, the work that goes into each pair of these Saint Laurent jeans is monumental. Look at all those little squares and rectangles, overlapped at random as if by blind pre-schoolers.

The patches remind me of those iron-on ones I used to get for my kid’s jeans, the kind that curl at the edges no matter how long you leave the iron on those fuckers.

st laurent jeans rear

I love the acid-washed color, too. That alone says “class.”

And here comes a big surprise: They are on sale for only $535, here! I am hoping Amal Clooney will discover these, they are just the kind of thing she loves – a flashback of 80’s Eurotrash at an inflated price.

Rest assured there is at least one person deluded enough to buy this atrocity, and she/he wears a size 27.

Denim Playsuit, $1,005

Jul14

Denim Playsuit Steve and Yoni

What is more stylish than a denim playsuit?

Let net-a-porter explain:

Steve J & Yoni P’s blue denim playsuit is your one-stop solution to effortless off-duty dressing. This relaxed design is fitted with plenty of practical pockets and features a tonal patch at the chest. Roll the sleeves and cuffs to add to its insouciant ease.

Right??

It is so totally effortless, except for the part about earning $1,005.00 to throw around. But listen, there’s a tonal patch at the chest, okay? That kind of thing isn’t going to be cheap. Tonal patches don’t grow on trees.

Now, here comes the insouciant rolled sleeves and cuffs:

Denim Playsuit 2 Steve and Yoni

I like that 80s-looking shoulder action, don’t you?

If looking like an overgrown child playing Engineer is your dream come true, hurry up and buy this ‘piece,’ ahem. There’s only ONE LEFT in size large!

 

Yohji Yamamoto Drop-Rise Jeans

Jul8

yohji yamamoto front 610

These stunning jeans are available exclusively at Barneys and you can see why.

Where else would you go looking for denim pants in a horrible faded wash that make you look like a hobo who needs a bathroom?

yohji yamamoto rear 610

The rear view is breathtaking, isn’t it? I love that the crotch is so near the ankle.

And the patch pockets are placed so artfully!

For those of you familiar with rise and inseam: 27″ rise, 17″ inseam.

Never argue with Yohji. Just fork over the $610 and never look back.

The Denim Hooded Cape

Jul3

Denim Hooded Cape - See by Chloe

‘This sharp denim style transforms a wardrobe-staple fabric into a full-on statement garment, by combining light, medium and dark washes in patchwork design.’

Yes, this is a full-on statement but what is the statement? “I have no taste!” Hi, I’m blind!” or just “Please don’t laugh?”

I will admit that this ‘piece’ is versatile. Look at all the ways you can wear it! The arms-out style is my favorite; it’s like something you’d wear during surgery for the amputation.

Denim Hooded Cap rear - See by Chloe

The rear-view is challenging. It suggests a nurse or a member of the clergy, but with something sinister afoot.

Just take it away.

See by Chloe, $465.00