Here is just what we’ve all been looking for: distressed patchwork jeans that are worth every penny of the $1,090 price tag.

Obviously, the work that goes into each pair of these Saint Laurent jeans is monumental. Look at all those little squares and rectangles, overlapped at random as if by blind pre-schoolers.

The patches remind me of those iron-on ones I used to get for my kid’s jeans, the kind that curl at the edges no matter how long you leave the iron on those fuckers.

I love the acid-washed color, too. That alone says “class.”

And here comes a big surprise: They are on sale for only $535, here! I am hoping Amal Clooney will discover these, they are just the kind of thing she loves – a flashback of 80’s Eurotrash at an inflated price.

Rest assured there is at least one person deluded enough to buy this atrocity, and she/he wears a size 27.