This fabulous jeans have sold out because I didn’t move fast enough, and if you want to kill me, stand in line.
I feel I have failed you connoisseurs of hideous denim with my chronic laziness. If I can make it up to you, let me know.
In any case, let’s admire these wondrous Dolce and Gabanna jeans, a museum piece that was well worth the $3,000 or $6,000 or whatever the fuck they went for.
Look at the back:
Imagine the crunchy feeling of sitting down!
How many blind Italian grandmas or nimble-fingered Roman street children worked themselves to exhaustion on these breathtaking denim collector’s pieces?
And how much fun for an OCD sufferer to patiently pick off each cheap little embellishment?
Let us weep together at the glory that might have been if I weren’t so lazy.
“Crunchy feeling of sitting down.” That comment brightened my day tremendously! D&G could have at least been honest and called this mess “bedazzled” and not “embellished.”
First of all, the models shoes are too big.
Second of all, these Mom jeans have never seen any skilled little fingers because that shit is iron-on or hot glued!
Ripping the shit out of leather sofas and catching on everything they pass…plastic bags blowing on the wind.
I just know Elton John won’t be buying them.