Velvet Patch Jeans $1,008

velvet patch jeans 1008

These patchwork jeans by Kanye-approved label Off-White are not just overpriced bullshit.

They are reinterpreted Levi vintage jeans. So there, you philistine. Here’s what you get for the money:

• Button fly
• Reinforced zipper
• Branded loop pull
• Branded top button closure
• Five-pocket styling
• Velvet and denim patchwork details
• Levi’s branded patch
• Levi’s branded rivets
• Contrast stitching
• Classic fit
• 100% cotton
• Machine wash cool, line dry
• Made in Italy

If you have any friends who are Japanese style leaders or hip-hop stars, you will win their sincerest envy by wearing these jeans. Others will assume you got them at a yard sale or that your mom wore them to a 60’s love-in.

All the work that went into them, just to look like they’re one-of-a-kind! When they’re not!

You could outfit more than 100 people in vintage Levi’s for the same $1,008, by shopping at Goodwill.

But that would be stupid when these stunners might get you a nod from Kanye if he knew you existed.