So, these denim patchwork drop-rise lounge pants are the “work” of Greg Lauren, either a relative of Ralph or just some blind nutcase who has inexplicably been allowed to design clothing.

Priced at $1,500, this item comes with all the bells and whistles nobody wants on their jeans:  drawstring waist, ribbed knit cuffs, mismatched pockets, a carpenter’s loop, and a crotch that almost hits the knees.

Bingo, right?

Let’s not forget those patches and fake rips.

The rear view is breathtaking. Unless “breathholding” is a word.

They are still available in size 2 at Barneys.

Hurry! I’ll wait while you go order them.