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Finally, the $1,000 Patchwork Jeans

st laurent jeans

Here is just what we’ve all been looking for: distressed patchwork jeans that are worth every penny of the $1,090 price tag.

Obviously, the work that goes into each pair of these Saint Laurent jeans is monumental. Look at all those little squares and rectangles, overlapped at random as if by blind pre-schoolers.

The patches remind me of those iron-on ones I used to get for my kid’s jeans, the kind that curl at the edges no matter how long you leave the iron on those fuckers.

st laurent jeans rear

I love the acid-washed color, too. That alone says “class.”

And here comes a big surprise: They are on sale for only $535, here! I am hoping Amal Clooney will discover these, they are just the kind of thing she loves – a flashback of 80’s Eurotrash at an inflated price.

Rest assured there is at least one person deluded enough to buy this atrocity, and she/he wears a size 27.

Flared Enough For You?

Kenzo Wide Leg Jeans 745

Are these hideous or just stupid? I feel conflicted.

In any case, they need to be here.¬† Again, a designer has chosen to be ironic instead of functional or flattering. Is Kenzo saying, “You want BIG?” Or just “Hey, stupid, buy this!”

Before you start thinking these are kind of cute, in an exaggerated sailor kind of way, take another look.

Kenzo Wide Leg Jeans 2

All that fucking fabric! WHY? Imagine trying to sit in a restaurant chair, or running to catch a bus?

Lucky for somebody, they are on sale with only size 36 available.

At $745, these jeans are absurdly overpriced, but now at $298 they’re just a No, thanks

Hideous Denim Is Here To stay.

We can’t seem to make it go away but at least we can bear witness. We can document these atrocities and try to embarrass¬† whoever created them.

This is my calling. I feel god’s pleasure in my wrath. (Just kidding with the god part.)

Help out by sending pix or links, or just come around to gaze in horror and scream helplessly.
~

 

ashish denim jumpsuit

Let’s start off with this oversized jumpsuit by Ashish. It feels like the ugliest, stupidest, most egregious denim thing I have ever seen in my life, but experience has proven that there’s always something worse around the next corner.

But still. How unforgivable is this piece of shit? It’s begging people to laugh at it, people who don’t even know it costs $1,425.

We can laugh or cry but there are only TWO LEFT in size small. You know what that means? There are medium and large people who went, “YES, put this in my cart!” and then paid money.

Do they want to feel like Alice in Wonderland after she shrunk?  Can anyone explain?

 

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