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Michael Kors Ostrich Feather Jeans

denim ostrich feather jeans michael kors

These jeans are so pretty and versatile!

Let me describe them:

Classic denim pair updated with ostrich feathers

Right? What more do you need to know?

At $1,995.00, they squeak in at under two thousand dollars. Whew! Close one, Mr. Kors!

I love how the feathers start sprouting just under the knee… it’s so organic, almost, because that’s where the feathers always start.

The rear view is clean and classy:

denim ostrich feather jeans 2

Nothing to complain about here, except, you know.

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The Denim Shirt Skirt: I Think Not.

denim shirt skirt faith connection“A shredded faded denim Faith Connexion skirt with the look of an oversized jacket. Snap closure. Unlined.”

Okay but why not just buy a huge denim jacket from a thrift-shop and tie it around your waist, if you want this look? At $501 (reduced from the original price of $836) you have to be really, really stupid to buy this tragic item.

Let’s check out the rear view:

denim shirt skirt rear view

Nope, not impressed.

Here’s a note about the brand.

The sleek, citified sensibility behind Faith Connexion apparel is inspired by elements of architecture and a pared-down, Parisian street-chic aesthetic.

Oh please. Just take it away.

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Apron Pants, Finally!

denim apron pantsCan you believe they only thought of this NOW???

denim apron pants rear

How many times have we longed for something to tie over our pants that looked almost like a pair of faded jeans?

Well, the wait is over. These Apron Pants are just $300 but stock is low and they’re going fast.

I just wish they’d call these things chaps and get it over with.

 

Thank Junya For Raising The Bar

junya denim dress 2 955

This denim and wool jersey dress by Junya Watanabe says ‘FUN!’ or maybe ‘SUCKER!’

Either way, I know we all love trompe l’oeil fashion because we are all surrealists at heart.

You know what, this is just too stupid. There is no excuse for it. Tie your jeans around a dress if you feel you must but don’t pay $955 for Junya to fuck around like this. Don’t encourage him.

Here, look at the back.

junya denim dress 3 955

Famed for his innovative ability to deconstruct silhouettes, Junya Watanabe designed this midi dress to look like two pieces in one. Detailed with a gathered asymmetric front, it’s cut from faded light-blue denim and black wool-jersey. We like it best paired with brogues.

When you walk, it will look even more upsetting.

Just wear brogues and hope no one recognizes you.

Net-a-porter, $955 and hurry, medium and large are already sold out.

Moschino Skirt: Ew!

moschino denim skirt

A playful, asymmetrical Moschino miniskirt in classic denim. 5-pocket styling. Button closure and zip fly. Unlined.

Playful is often a synonym for “awful” apparently. I know that when I wear something a little unusual, like my weird old silver sneakers, some idiot will say “What fun shoes!” They might just as well scream EW!

So let’s call this skirt Playful and Fun. It looks sort of like a big denim handkerchief, only worse.

moschino denim skirt 2

From the back, it’s just sad.

Why doesn’t Moschino just fire that cunt already???

$550 at Shopbop

Asymmetric Frayed Mini Dress

marques almeida playsuit

Oh my god, how cute is this denim mini dress?!?

Marques’ Almeida’s dress is made from heavily frayed blue denim – a signature fabric from the label’s Fall ’15 runway. This mini-length style has been cut with a folded asymmetric skirt. Team yours with sneakers on off-duty days, or channel the show styling and wear it with metallic heels.

Just look at the detail here. It’s almost like origami, chewed by hungry little children in a faraway sweatshop.

Behold the rear view.

marques 2 frayed mini

Imagine that back sash-thing gently flapping against your thigh. Paradise.

$615 at net-a-porter