Styled on the Fall ’16 runway over this mini dress, Miu Miu’s denim jacket has long tails inspired by traditional morning suits that fall below your knee. This piece is paneled with navy velvet to flatter the shoulders and has buttoned sleeve tabs that create a deliberate ruched, scrunched shape. Wear yours with the double-breasted front unfastened.
And at $2,265, are they really serious with this shit?
Here’s the front view.
Can you think of one thing you could wear with this that could mitigate the horror?
Didn’t think so.
What if you saw this at Salvation Army for ten dollars?
Miu Miu is just fucking with us.
Admit that these Fendi jeans are magnificent.
On sale at Neiman Marcus for just $2,250, they are sure to win admiring glances from goats, sheep, and llamas.
They’ll be going, “Look, someone forgot to finish shearing off her coat!”
They won’t really notice the classic five pocket skinny cut or the cotton/spandex fabric.
But you’ll feel like a million bucks for getting such a great deal, if you wear IT size 6 or 10.
I’m not sure if I want ‘bucks’ to be a pun here.
Yes! Let’s have it be a pun.
I don’t know what else to say about this special piece except that someone at Fendi needs to die.
This fabulous jeans have sold out because I didn’t move fast enough, and if you want to kill me, stand in line.
I feel I have failed you connoisseurs of hideous denim with my chronic laziness. If I can make it up to you, let me know.
In any case, let’s admire these wondrous Dolce and Gabanna jeans, a museum piece that was well worth the $3,000 or $6,000 or whatever the fuck they went for.
Look at the back:
Imagine the crunchy feeling of sitting down!
How many blind Italian grandmas or nimble-fingered Roman street children worked themselves to exhaustion on these breathtaking denim collector’s pieces?
And how much fun for an OCD sufferer to patiently pick off each
cheap little embellishment?
Let us weep together at the glory that might have been if I weren’t so lazy.
Remember when Tom Ford meant sophisticated and sexy?
Never mind. Tom Ford has lost its meaning as a brand and Tom Ford himself must have lost his mind.
Just look at this horrifying denim and fur jacket, priced at a baffling $5,590.00.
Stretch denim with dyed rabbit. Shouldn’t this be like $150 at Macy’s? I don’t understand! No comprende, Tom!
Here’s the back view, just so you have no illusions that the back is studded with Colombian emeralds.
Notice how awful those puffy shoulders look. Even the collar is offensive.
I hope you’ll agree this is a very special piece, combining visual repulsiveness with astronomical price, and a suggestion of moral bankruptcy.
This will be a hard act to follow but Tom may be up for it.
Only one left at Neiman Marcus!