Tag Archive | as if

The Denim Shirt Skirt: I Think Not.

denim shirt skirt faith connection“A shredded faded denim Faith Connexion skirt with the look of an oversized jacket. Snap closure. Unlined.”

Okay but why not just buy a huge denim jacket from a thrift-shop and tie it around your waist, if you want this look? At $501 (reduced from the original price of $836) you have to be really, really stupid to buy this tragic item.

Let’s check out the rear view:

denim shirt skirt rear view

Nope, not impressed.

Here’s a note about the brand.

The sleek, citified sensibility behind Faith Connexion apparel is inspired by elements of architecture and a pared-down, Parisian street-chic aesthetic.

Oh please. Just take it away.

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Off White+ Levis Edition Denim Jacket – $1,395

off white + Levis edition denim jacket

This is a real mess that is not without an admirable disregard for appealing aesthetics.

It is a bold mishmash of undesirable elements, featuring ‘semi sheer organza panels’ with fading. distressing and staining throughout. It also has that chewed-by-squirrels aspect along the front seams that signify high end quality.

Sure, it’s $1,395, because the brand Off White is one of those Kayne-approved lines designed by some young French thug or something. Let’s not rush to judgement without seeing the rear view.

denim jacket offwhite levis rearview 1395

Now you can see where all the money went! All that fraying, the big cut-outs, will guarantee attention each time you turn your back. If you hear snickers, just ignore those stupid philistines who don’t get Luxury street-wear. Idiots. Nobodies.

 

Saint Laurent Shorts, $750

St Laurent printed denim shortsSaint Laurent‘s high-rise denim shorts have been made in Japan and printed with stars – a signature motif. This pair has a frayed hem that gives them a love-worn finish. Style yours with a T-shirt and sneakers.

So….made in Japan? Is that supposed to justify the high price? Because ‘Japanese denim’ is a big deal for jeans snobs, unless you’re Japanese, then it’s ‘Made in the USA’ you’re looking for.

Here’s a close-up for your perusal:

St Laurent printed denim 2

I guess they’re trying to showcase the frayed edges, but is this feature really essential? Are you afraid that people will think your shorts are new?

You know what, go ahead and pay $750 for denim cut-offs if you’re that stupid. Be my guest.

Ner-a-porter, $750

Asymmetric Frayed Mini Dress

marques almeida playsuit

Oh my god, how cute is this denim mini dress?!?

Marques’ Almeida’s dress is made from heavily frayed blue denim – a signature fabric from the label’s Fall ’15 runway. This mini-length style has been cut with a folded asymmetric skirt. Team yours with sneakers on off-duty days, or channel the show styling and wear it with metallic heels.

Just look at the detail here. It’s almost like origami, chewed by hungry little children in a faraway sweatshop.

Behold the rear view.

marques 2 frayed mini

Imagine that back sash-thing gently flapping against your thigh. Paradise.

$615 at net-a-porter

Reclaimed Denim Jacket $1,200

Maori Mask Jacket Figue 1200

Now at first glance, you’ll just go “Ew, what the hell is that crap?” because you haven’t been told it’s a ‘hand-embroidered Maori Mask patch.’

So get this:

All embellishments are done by male artisans in Southern India.

What a wondrous statement! Why ‘male’ artisans? Why Southern India, when Maori are the indigenous people of New Zealand?

Maori jacket 2

Most of all, why does Figue think we should pay $1,200 for this eyesore? Is it because…

each reclaimed vintage Levi’s denim jacket [is] sourced by Stephanie for its wash and fit.

Stephanie, whoever you are, you have some fucking nerve.