Archive | August 2015

Moschino Skirt: Ew!

Aug27

moschino denim skirt

A playful, asymmetrical Moschino miniskirt in classic denim. 5-pocket styling. Button closure and zip fly. Unlined.

Playful is often a synonym for “awful” apparently. I know that when I wear something a little unusual, like my weird old silver sneakers, some idiot will say “What fun shoes!” They might just as well scream EW!

So let’s call this skirt Playful and Fun. It looks sort of like a big denim handkerchief, only worse.

moschino denim skirt 2

From the back, it’s just sad.

Why doesn’t Moschino just fire that cunt already???

$550 at Shopbop

Faux Shearling Trim: No.

Aug22

toga faux shearling jeans

At first glance, these jeans might be dismissed as merely ugly, but look again. They are hideous.

These flared jeans are trimmed at the cuffs with faux shearling and mixed-media embellishments – they are also cut shorter at the back to ensure they sit neatly over ankle boots or shoes.

God, why?

toga 2 faux shearling jeans

The shorter-at-the-back idea is a new twist, but aesthetically it is a solid failure. The people behind you will be frightened by the furry-looking things clinging to your hem.

Nothing is good here. The cut and stitching are unflattering, producing a cameltoe as an added insult.

Go ahead and buy these Toga jeans if you are completely nuts and need to waste $665.

Asymmetric Frayed Mini Dress

Aug12

marques almeida playsuit

Oh my god, how cute is this denim mini dress?!?

Marques’ Almeida’s dress is made from heavily frayed blue denim – a signature fabric from the label’s Fall ’15 runway. This mini-length style has been cut with a folded asymmetric skirt. Team yours with sneakers on off-duty days, or channel the show styling and wear it with metallic heels.

Just look at the detail here. It’s almost like origami, chewed by hungry little children in a faraway sweatshop.

Behold the rear view.

marques 2 frayed mini

Imagine that back sash-thing gently flapping against your thigh. Paradise.

$615 at net-a-porter

Reclaimed Denim Jacket $1,200

Aug8

Maori Mask Jacket Figue 1200

Now at first glance, you’ll just go “Ew, what the hell is that crap?” because you haven’t been told it’s a ‘hand-embroidered Maori Mask patch.’

So get this:

All embellishments are done by male artisans in Southern India.

What a wondrous statement! Why ‘male’ artisans? Why Southern India, when Maori are the indigenous people of New Zealand?

Maori jacket 2

Most of all, why does Figue think we should pay $1,200 for this eyesore? Is it because…

each reclaimed vintage Levi’s denim jacket [is] sourced by Stephanie for its wash and fit.

Stephanie, whoever you are, you have some fucking nerve.

Oh Hell Yes

Aug1

feather trim jean shorts opening ceremony

Right?

We needed feather-trimmed denim shorts and now we have them. It’s like god is listening to our prayers.

Opening Ceremony ReWork refashions vintage denim and basic tees into a chic, feather-trimmed collection. Vintage Levi’s 501 and 505 jeans are reconstructed and rewashed into shorts and pants, while T-shirts are fashioned from soft cotton. Each piece is adorned with pink or white ostrich plumes.

What a chic and witty statement piece for only $150!